Today would have been my mom’s birthday. The truth is, it still is her birthday. When you lose your mom, so many days of the year hold such importance for you now – Your birthday, Mother’s Day, her birthday, various other holidays spent with family. And there’s always something missing on those days. Prior to her death.
I wanted to write something for all those who have also lost their mother. Those who feel her birthday approaching days and weeks ahead, unsure how to feel, what to think, what to do. These are some things that have helped me over the years:
1.. Celebrate her birthday as if she was still here.
As Mum's birthday falls on Guy Fawkes Night, we do things a little different we invite our close friends and family and every year as a family we do a small firework display. Just as if we were to have celebrations with her after we would then warm up by having a cup of hot chocolate but this year we'll be opening the wine. ( Let me know in the comments if you drink wine)
2. Do Something in honor of her special day.
Wear her favorite color, Go to her favorite restaurant. Eat her favorite meal for dinner. Let off fireworks for her, listen to her favorite music, watch her favorite movie. Light a candle in her honor.
3. Allow yourself to be.
Grief is a tricky emotion it can bite us when we least expect it. Be open to whatever comes up for you on that day. if you wake up on the morning of her birthday and all you can think about is you want to hug her or if you wake up on her birthday and you're overcome with joy. Allow the tears to fall, allow yourself to feel that too. There's no need to feel guilty for having a smile on your face on that day. In fact, it's probably your mum's way of coming through to celebrate.
4. Remember that she loves you.
She is, and always will be, your sweet mum. Just as your birthday is a celebration of your birthday and life, her birthday is a celebration of her birth, life, and legacy. She may have left this Earth but she can always help guide you. If you are open to it she is cheering you on, encouraging you, loving you endlessly. However, you chose to celebrate your mum's birthday after she has passed on may it bring you comfort and a sense of celebration. Reflect on the life she lived and the lessons she taught you. Incorporate who she was - her essence, her personality, her hobbies and gifts into your life and the life of your family.
To My Sweet Mum:
Every single day your on my mind mum. Some day's it's still so hard to believe, your still not with us. All I can say is how much you mean to mean, how deeply you impacted m. I want more than anything to hug you today, feel you in my arms and sway back and forth. To hear your sweet voice. To heave you by my side as we celebrate you; all you've done, all you've conquered, sacrificed, taught, and accomplished. Your life still amazes. And your life will be never forgotten.
Happy Birthday, Mum.